Hey there! Kenny Chapman here, and today we’re continuing our discussion on how to make the most of your unique advantages and step into your greatness.
We’re talking about the unique advantage you have in gap management, specifically around goals.
People love goals, and we make them all the time, whether it’s consciously done or not.
But most people fail when they go for those goals.
Why? Is it a lack of talent or lack of drive?
Usually, no. They don’t see how to manage the gap between where they are and what their goal is.
It’s here they fail, but I don’t want you to fail.
This is why we’re tackling this gap management today, my friends.
Let’s get started.
Remember Mindset
I’ll dive into gap management in just a moment, but I want you to think about this:
Previously, we talked about unique advantages and kind of really getting clear around your mindset.
Am I growing, or am I fixed and different things like that?
A growth mindset means you accept failure as a learning opportunity, and you define success by what you learn along the way, not whether you hit some arbitrary number you don’t have much control over.
This week. I want you to think about how you manage the gap when it comes to your own unique advantage.
I was first taught this concept by my mentor.
Dan Sullivan is a strategic coach I highly respect.
I’ve known Dan for many, many years now, and he’s one of the biggest mentors and influencers in my life.
When Dan first taught me the gap concept, I realized why I had been so frustrated for so many years, even though I was “top producer” in my world, in my field, in my life, whether it be strategies, income, freedom, or all kinds of different things.
I was living most of my time in the gap and what I want us to really realize today and think about when it comes to gap management is that you’re always going to have a gap.
Living From Gap To Gap
At the time I write this, New Year’s Resolutions weren’t that far away, and I won’t bash them. I’m all for people trying to improve themselves.
So if that works for you, I’m all down for it.
But these resolutions don’t really help most people. Why?
The focus on the end result. Not the gap.
The calendar often gives an opportunity.
Certainly, with my companies, we set new budgets for critical synergy.
We set a new budget for the Blue Collar Success Group.
I have my own goals for 2021.
There are certain things that are just based on the calendar, and we set some specific goals.
I don’t call them new year’s resolutions, just for the reasons that I’ve discussed in previous episodes.
Now, that being said, what happens anytime you create a goal is that you create a gap between where you are right now and where you want to go.
When you think about managing the gap, what we need to realize is there’s a lot of super talented, very high-performing people that are just simply unable to enjoy life.
They walk around frustrated, they’re upset all the time.
There’s never enough.
I’m all about constant never-ending improvement, continuing to grow, learn, thrive.
But I want to be mindful that, you know, if we just realize we’re constantly in a gap, there’s some freedom there.
The gap is where you live your life; it’s where you improve and grow and succeed.
But if you focus only on the end goal, you’ll never be fulfilled.
The Hamster Wheel Of Goal Setting
Then we get to learn how to manage the gap because that’s where life is lived for goal-setting people like you and me.
Every time you accomplish something that you set out to do, what do you do?
Then you set a new goal.
You desire something different.
You want to move forward.
And I’m not just talking about income.
I’m talking about relationships.
I’m talking about education.
My firends, I’m talking about capability.
You always want to be growing, learning, improving.
Therefore, there’s always a gap between where you are and where you want to go.
And that is a hundred percent, OK.
Let’s embrace that being OK.
My friend, let’s find a way to win.
But recognize that your goals don’t make you happy. It’s the journey.
You’re wrong, Kenny! You may say.
Oh, I’ll be happy when I make X amount of money.
I’ll be happy when I get the new car.
I’ll be happy when my business does X amount in sales.
It’s so short-lived, and I believe the more and more successful you become, the shorter and shorter-lived those types of finite overarching goals are.
I’m all about accomplishing goals.
Please, don’t take this out of context.
What I’m not all about is living in pain until you accomplished whatever it is that you want to do. And then you’re quickly frustrated because now you want another level.
Let’s embrace the gap. Let’s live in fulfillment.
My friends, let’s live in joy and in happiness and realize how we can go about this strategically.
4 Ways To Manage The Gap
I want to share four things that Dan has taught me around the gap.
He wrote a great book called The Gap and the Gain.
It’s a short read that I do recommend highly recommend, actually.
I want to talk a little bit about this strategy though today.
There are four things I want to share with you.
I’m paraphrasing what Dan taught in the book from my perspective and my understanding.
And here’s what I want you to think about and write down.
#1 Measurement Creates Progress And How You Measure Matters
Measurement creates progress, and how you measure matters.
Realize that because if I’m just measuring forward all the time, I’m not there yet.
I’m not there yet.
I have this far to go.
And you’re going to be in pain until you get there.
I’m going to be annoyed.
I’m going to be frustrated.
However, if I have my goal where I want to go, and I measure it going backward by looking at how far I’ve come.
Now, I’m able to know that I’m and feel and embrace the progress I’m creating.
I’ve got to have specificity around what I’m measuring back to look at as well.
Get clear and specific about the goal and the steps to measure along the way.
A Personal Example
The lovely Christy and I are big hikers.
And I love hiking.
What’s fascinating is if we set out on a new trail and aggressive trail, a long trail, whatever it is, we’re constantly looking at that horizon up on top of the mountain, as far as we’re going.
When I continue to measure by how far we’ve got to go yet, I can get frustrated.
I can physically feel fatigued.
I can be, you know, almost thirsty or if you will, right?
But then when I stop and take a drink of water and turn around and look back down the mountain,
I’m like, Holy cow, look how far we’ve come.
That’s what I want in your life.
Measurement creates progress when done correctly.
And that is by measuring backward.
It’s not about measuring yourself against the top players in the industry, the best people that, that what you do or whatever the case may be.
This is a measurement against where you have come in relation to where you are, want to go.
#2 Realize You May Not Reach The End And Set Yourself Free
Realize and set yourself free.
Dan taught me; ideals cannot be achieved.
We set goals based on ideals.
Ideally, I would like to have this.
Ideally, I would like to be at this revenue.
You know, ideally, I’d like to have this many team members.
Ideally, I’d like to operate like this as a leader.
Ideally, I’d like to be this type of husband, father, whatever it is.
But one of the things that I believe in is that, you know, if I set a goal that I want to get closer to my spouse, then that’s really an ideal.
Let’s dig into this example.
Say I want to implement date night once a week for the next 12 weeks.
That means in the next 12 weeks, I’ll have 12 date nights.
Now that’s my gap.
Moving forward as we move forward, and it’s been eight weeks.
I can now look back and say: “How many date nights have I had in those eight weeks?”
That’s step #1, measuring your progress by measuring backward.
Realistically, I may be doing OK. Maybe we had 7 date nights in the past 8 weeks.
I could beat myself up for not being perfect, or I could accept that I may not be perfect or ideal and take pleasure in the progress I’ve made.
I had 7 date nights with my spouse, and we’ve gotten closer.
That’s worth celebrating.
No One Is Ideal
As Dan says, nobody ever gets there perfectly anyway.
When I first was taught that concept, I didn’t like it much.
What’s the point of going for goals if you don’t even plan on reaching them, right?
Bear with me as you’re kind of allowing your thinking to work through this process.
There’s a really massive point with ideals.
I’m just telling you that ideals exist for you to set the goal from.
I want to be happy, healthy, wealthy, and wise.
That’s the ideal.
In order to do that, then I’ve got to say specific goals around what.
What does happiness look like for me?
When do I feel it?
How do I know it?
If I’m going to be healthy as an ideal, then what is it specifically that health represents to me.
If I’m going to be wealthy as an ideal deal, then what does that mean to me as far as income, as far as economic independence, as far as so many other things that might go into the wealth category.
I want to be wise.
What does that look like?
#3 Measure Backward
I kind of touched on this already, but here it is again.
I want you to realize, you know, measurement creates progress.
Ideals cannot be achieved and because of this, measuring forward creates pain.
Measuring backward shows progress.
#4 Always Expand Capability
The last thing I want you to realize today is that it’s about always expanding capability.
When you’re managing your gap, you’re in your gap.
Let’s say you wanted to hike the rim of the Grand Canyon.
I was going to do it for my 50th birthday.
And then one of the resorts burned down at the bottom of the Canyon, so I had to cancel my trip.
Then COVID hit, so I didn’t get to achieve my goal.
Oh no, it’s terrible, and I’m terrible, right?
Of course not!
Obviously, it would’ve been great to do it, but it was out of my control.
I’ll still do it, but not right now.
But I can still measure progress and manage the gap by what I’ve done to prepare for it.
By expanding my capability, I am working and progressing and improving every day.
If you focus on the end only, your whole world may be wrecked by these circumstances out of your control.
Now, I’m fine. Disappointed, sure. But I’m satisfied because of what I’ve done so far.
Final Thoughts
You will always have some gap in your life.
You create different gaps.
Maybe you say:
As soon as the kids are out of the house, we’re going to do XYZ.
Now there’s a gap.
Some of you that can’t wait to retire or seek different levels.
Now you’ve created a gap.
As soon as you set an income goal, you’ve created a gap.
As soon as you set a weight goal, you’ve created a gap.
All these gaps, are you ignoring the time and the work and growth and life it takes to get there?
You shouldn’t.
Measure the gap, realize the ideal may never happen, measure backward to show progress, and focus on how the gap expands your capability.
This will make you better and more satisfied in the long run.
I lived a lot of my life by saying what’s next every time I finished a goal.
I felt a hole and empty and pain and frustration.
Friends, I don’t want that for you.
So make your goals, but focus on the gap.
After all, that’s where life is.
Now go make it a better-than-fantastic-day!
You may also want to read about primary purpose as a unique advantage.